Blu-Ray Review: SAVING MR. BANKS

Starring Emma Thompson, Tom Hanks, Paul Giamatti, Colin Farrell, Bradley Whitford, Jason Schwartzman, Annie Rose Buckley, Ruth Wilson. Directed by John Lee Hancock (2013, 125 min).
Disney Home Video

After watching Saving Mr. Banks, I’m a bit surprised it received only a single Oscar nomination (Best Score, by Lionel Newman). No, it wasn’t the best picture of the year, but considering the Academy can select up to ten films, but only chose nine this year, it was certainly worthy of that tenth spot. Maybe it isn’t as gritty, quirky or intense as the other somber selections, but it’s beautifully shot, well-written and features terrific performances (Emma Thompson, in particular).

Maybe it was because of how the story itself is told, which chronicles the quasi-antagonistic relationship between Walt Disney (Tom Hanks) and author P.L. Travers (Thompson) during his attempts to convince her to sign-over the film rights to her novel, Mary Poppins. I’ve read some criticisms that Saving Mr. Banks is too whimsical, too Disneyfied and perhaps an overly-romanticized account of what really occurred. It has been well-documented that Travers never cared for Disney’s iconic version adaptation of her novel, but you wouldn’t know it from this film.

"Double-Tap! Zombie stays down!"

Or maybe it was because the movie isn’t really about Walt Disney himself. The man is easily one of the most intriguing people to ever work behind the scenes in Hollywood, and the Academy has historically loved biographical tales of major players in the movie business. But even though Disney is a major part of Saving Mr. Banks, this is Travers’ story, and it isn’t a true biography of her either. Instead, we’re introduced to a frankly-snobbish writer, contemptuous of Americans and fiercely-protective of the characters she created, to the point where she is a constant thorn in the side to those at Disney Studios trying to bring her only world-renowned novel to the screen. She initially comes off as arrogant and difficult. We don’t like this woman at all throughout the first half of the movie. But through flashbacks showing her upbringing in Australia and the relationship with her loving-yet-alcoholic father (Colin Farrell, who’s never been better), we understand why she’s so protective of the novel and its characters (Mr. Banks, in particular). We also learn why her book was so near and dear to Walt's heart for so many years.

Walt's forced to stand in
line at his own theme park.

I don’t know whether or not this is an accurate depiction of what happened on the Disney lot back in 1961, nor do I care. For all I know, Walt Disney himself was one of the most abusively-powerful, heartless and greedy pricks ever to stalk Hollywood. Do I want to see that side of him? Hell, no, and I find it hard to believe anyone else does either, which is why Tom Hanks (incapable of hatred from anyone) is perfect in the role, even though he looks nothing like Walt.

Saving Mr. Banks makes no claims of total historical accuracy. It remembers it’s supposed to be entertainment first, history lesson last. As such, Travers & Disney (and every other supporting character, for that matter) are wonderfully-realized creations who touch us on a personal level, no matter how far-removed from their world we might be. Their story is poignant and charming, with a bittersweet, nostalgic tone underlying everything. Unless you’re a complete cynic (like the Academy apparently is), this is a hard movie to dislike.

EXTRAS:
The Walt Disney Studios: From Poppins to the Present (a sentimental look back at the studio during the last few years of Walt Disney’s life)
“Let’s Go Fly a Kite” (cast & crew members sing the famous song in honor of its composer, Richard Sherman, who plays along with them)
Deleted Scenes

FKMG RATING:

(OUT OF 5)

BAD WORDS First "Insta-bee" Launches!

Jason Bateman once again proves that grownups can get their Spelling Bee on too! If you have Instagram and know how to spell a thing or two, head over to @BadWordsMovie on Instagram and compete for your chance to win $4,000 cash and the title of the first ever “Insta-bee” champ by spelling the word correctly in the comments section!  You have seven opportunities to win BIG! May the words be ever in your favor. Nerd.

Mashable has the scoop HERE

BAD WORDS opens in select theaters March 14th and expands across the country on March 21st and March 28^th

MOVIES IN HAIKU: The Desolation of Blog

THE BIG LEBOWSKI

The Dude's rug...pissed on!

It tied the room together.

His journey begins.

JACKASS: THE MOVIE

Dumb, dangerous stunts;

Legions of morons inspired,

Cleansing the gene pool.

THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN

Village under siege;

Seven samurai cowboys save the day!

Thanks, Kurosawa.

THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST

Being Jesus sucks...

Whipped, thorned, nailed and speared to death;

Christian torture-porn.

KING KONG

The poor giant ape,

Not killed by planes, but beauty...

Like most married guys.

AIRPORT 1975 and an Introduction to Irony

Starring Charlton Heston, Karen Black, George Kennedy, Efrem Zimbalist, Jr., Susan Clark, Helen Reddy, Sid Caesar, Myrna Loy, Linda Blair, Gloria Swanson, Dana Andrews, Erik Estrada. Directed by Jack Smight. (1974, 106 min).

Time for the Lightning Round, kids, where the points can double!

Think fast…Linda Blair! When you hear that name, what’s the first movie that pops into your head?

Any title other than The Exorcist? If you’re of a certain age, unless you’ve lived in a pop culture vacuum during the past 40 years, of course not. If you aren’t of a certain age, you probably don’t know who the hell I’m talking about.

As a public service to the latter, Linda Blair rocketed to stardom for her performance as Regan McNeil, the demon-possessed child in The Exorcist. She was 14 at the time, and like most child stars flushed with instant success, she went on to do almost nothing anyone remembers or gives a damn about (OK, a few of us might remember Exorcist II: The Heretic, one of the great comedies of the 70s). The few times Blair’s name has crept back into public consciousness since then have been Exorcist-related, either movie spoofs or appearing as herself in horror-based reality shows.

More than any other actor involved with that classic 1973 film, Linda Blair is synonymous with The Exorcist. For a time in the mid-70s, Blair was the true face of horror, so much so that when she appeared in Airport 1975 a couple years later, the irony of her role was not lost on me, even though I’d never heard the term, ‘irony.’ But as someone once famously said, “I can’t define pornography, but I know it when I see it.”

Airport 1975 was part of the Holy Trinity of disaster films released in 1974, The Towering Inferno and Earthquake being the other two. All three were box office smashes, which of course encouraged Hollywood to milk the genre dry over the next few years. Airport 1975 was the only sequel of the bunch (the original Airport, released in 1970, was more like a soap opera than a true disaster movie). But in another example of irony, Airport 1975 plays like it's inspired more by The Poseidon Adventure than the original Airport, eschewing many of the soapy subplots to focus on the action, which involves a mid-air collision between a 747 and a small twin-engine plane. The pilots are either dead or injured, leaving it up to crossed-eyed stewardess Karen Black to pilot the plane until Charlton Heston can drop in for a rescue (via mid-air transfer); we can’t allow a woman to land the plane, can we? Much of the movie’s budget must have been used to secure the all-star cast, because Airport 1975 looks like it was made on-the-cheap. There were made-for-TV movies with more convincing special effects.

"Hey, honey...is it supposed to be this soft?"

As a die-hard disaster buff with limited personal resources, I didn’t actually see this film until a year later, when it was the bottom half of a double bill at the trusty old Cinema V, a second-run theater within biking distance of my house. Even though I hadn‘t-yet seen The Exorcist, I was already well-aware of  its legend (audience members fainting, barf bags, nasty-ass dialogue spewed by a kid our age). And obviously, I definitely knew who Linda Blair was.

So when she showed up in Airport 1975 as a sunny, nose-scrunching, perpetually bubbly child in need of an organ transplant, I laughed. It’s a terrible performance. But the true irony comes later, when a nun, played by popular 70s singer Helen Reddy (whose hit, “I Am Woman“ was a clarion call to feminists worldwide), shows up to sing to her. We’re watching a religious figure serenade someone famous for violating herself with a crucifix.

I got a lot of chuckles out of that. In fact, me and my friends started talking back at the screen at the time, grunting “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!” whenever Linda Blair showed-up in every scene afterwards.

Historically, there's been wonderful stories rife with irony. Who didn't love the tragicomic outcome of Guy de Maupassant’s “The Necklace,” or the twist endings of Rod Serling’s Twilight Zone episodes?

The only thing better than irony is accidental irony, like the casting decisions made for the entire Airport franchise. After all, Dean Martin was a pilot in the original Airport, even though he was as renowned for his drunkenness as his singing or acting ability. And what about Christopher Lee, known worldwide as Hammer Films' greatest villain, cast in Airport ’77 as the most helpless and sympathetic character in the movie? Then there’s George Kennedy as Joe Patroni, the only character who appears in all four Airport films. Even though he’s arguably the least attractive main character in the franchise, he’s the only one who appears in a sex scene (a tryst with a hooker in Airport ‘79). By the way...yeech!

Linda Blair is only a few years older than me, so I kinda grew up with her. She’s still pretty damned adorable, by the way. If I were to bump into her now, aside from asking her to be my bride, I’d inquire if she ever grasped the irony of her role in Airport 1975, and whether or not she had the urge to blurt-out “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!” while Helen Reddy was serenading her.

Blu-Ray Review: 12 YEARS A SLAVE

Starring Chitwetel Ejiofor, Michael Fassbender, Benedict Cumberbatch, Lupita Nyong’o, Paul Dano, Paul Giamatti, Sarah Paulson, Brad Pitt, Alfre Woodard. Directed by Steve McQueen. (2013, 134 min).
Fox Home Video

Lucy, my youngest daughter, came into the room about half-way through this movie, plopped on the couch and asked what mom & I were watching. I told her it was a film about slavery and, based on the disturbing scenes of cruelty thus far, added that she might not want to see this. I was reluctant to make her leave because she was already learning about slavery in school. At the same time, 12 Years a Slave is often pretty relentless, and while I did let her stay, I insisted she close her eyes during the lengthy and brutal whipping of Patsey.

Towards the end, Lucy said, “Wow, white people sucked back then.”

Yes they did, though I don’t believe that was the message of the film.

I’m still not sure how to feel about 12 Years a Slave, the Oscar-winning account of the darkest chapter in American history. I hear folks mentioning it in the same breath as Schindler’s List and The Passion of the Christ, another historical epic which pulls no punches in depicting man’s capacity for evil and cruelty. This is the kind of film critics and supporters urge everyone to see (regardless of age), a cinematic history lesson most moviegoers feel more obligated than excited to endure.

"I'm tellin' ya, sir...2012 was not his fault!"

The subject matter alone made it a shoe-in to win a Best Picture Oscar. Was there ever any doubt? The Academy loves stuff like this. A few members even admitted they selected 12 Years a Slave for Best Picture without actually having seen it; they didn’t want to endure the film themselves, but knew the subject matter was important. It makes one wonder if the same thing happened with other “important” films which took home a Best Picture trophy in the past, which might explain how Dances with Wolves managed to beat out Goodfellas in 1991.

I’m kinda making it sound like the movie sucks, which couldn’t be further from the truth. 12 Years a Slave isn’t the emotional sledgehammer of Schindler’s List, but not as shamelessly manipulative as The Passion of the Christ, either. It is quite a harrowing journey though, sometimes infuriating, sometimes heart-wrenching and (with its scenes of physical and psychological cruelty) sometimes tough to watch.

Because the widespread evil of slavery is simply too overwhelming to tackle on a large scale without coming across as a history lesson, director Steve McQueen wisely chooses the Spielberg route, making it a deeply personal story of one man. In this case, we follow Solomon Northrop (Chiwetel Ejiofor), a free black man who’s duped by opportunistic con men, who end up selling him down south. What gives the movie emotional heft is the fact Solomon is as shocked at the treatment of slaves as we are. He’s also forced to hide the fact he is well-educated and far more intelligent than his owners in order to survive, during which time we watch him endure one all kinds of degradation. I can’t count how many times I wished Solomon would suddenly go-Django on everyone’s ass.

But again, that isn’t the message of this film. In fact, I don’t believe there is a message. Nor should there be. Simply presenting Solomon’s story as he originally wrote it says far more about the ignorance and inherent injustice of slavery than a heavy-handed message shoved in our face by a less-skilled director.

When it was over, I looked over at my wife and said this was one of those movies I‘m glad I watched, but would never need to see again. And we both agreed it’s something probably everyone should watch at least one time. When Lucy asked why, my wife simply replied, “Hopefully, so nothing like this never happens again.”

But alas, I’m reluctant to agree with the Academy. 12 Years a Slave is a good film, an important film. And yeah, I suppose it’s one of those movies everyone should see. Was it the best film of 2013? If historical and social relevance is the sole criteria, then yeah, and those Academy idiots who didn’t bother to watch it are justified. It certainly earned all its nominations (especially Lupita Nyong’o, who deservedly won for Best Supporting Actress), but awarding a Best Picture statue for sheer nobility is wrong-headed. From a pure artistic standpoint, setting aside the subject matter, there were better nominated movies this year.

EXTRAS: (unavailable for preview)

FKMG RATING:

(OUT OF 5)

Blu-Ray Review: RETURN TO NUKE ‘EM HIGH, VOLUME 1

Starring Asta Paredes, Catherine Corcoran, Zac Amico, Vito Trigo, Stan Lee, Judah Friedlander, Lemmy Kilmister, Debbie Rochon. Directed by Lloyd Kaufman. (2013, 85 min).
Anchor Bay Entertainment

There are cult films, then there are Troma films, which are really there own little genre.

Troma Studios’ heyday was during the 80s and early 90s. They managed to crank out two bonifide cult classics during this time (The Toxic Avenger and Class of Nuke ’Em High) which were symbolic of most of their product…low budget splatstick loaded with gore, gross-out gags, nudity, sex, political-incorrectness, outrageous plots and over-the-top characters. Along the way, Troma became a brand name among fans of this kind of stuff.

But, like hair metal, Members Only jackets and wine coolers, Troma never actually went away, but the popularity of their sleazy brand of cult movie mayhem faded as fans grew up and moved on to other things.

So I suppose Return to Nuke ‘Em High (ominously subtitled “Volume 1”) can be seen as a comeback by Lloyd Kaufman (Troma’s co-founder), who chooses to direct this belated sequel as though nothing has changed, perhaps thinking absence makes the heart grow fonder. Hey, it worked for Meat Loaf, who dropped his bombastic Bat Out of Hell II album a full decade after the rest of the world embraced grunge & rap, and it still sold a gajillion copies. Sometimes, if you wait long enough, the pendulum can swing back your way, making all your old tricks seem new again.

Hence, Return to Nuke ‘Em High is a calculated attempt to appeal the same audience who loved the films from Troma’s glory years. All the necessary ingredients are here: extreme gore, lots of sex, gratuitous nudity, lesbianism, vomiting, penis jokes, tit jokes, vagina jokes, drug use, bizarre characters, references to other Troma films (including a cameo by Toxie), bad taste, animal cruelty, guns, masturbation, heavy-handed satire, punk rockers, more penis, tit & vagina jokes, disgusting behavior, intentionally-amateurish performances, a gratuitous cameo by Motorhead’s Lemmy, dumb slapstick gags, ambitious-but-phony special effects and silly musical numbers. And did I mention all the penis, tit & vagina jokes?

"Who farted?"

All which brings me to my own personal problem with the film: I was never able to shake the feeling that everyone involved was trying way too hard to be outrageous. Attempts to shock or offend its audience come across as juvenile and pandering. For every scene which manages to be deceptively clever, there are at least three or four which are insultingly stupid (such as the morbidly obese guy who frequently shows up to flash his gelatinous girth for the sake of a cheap laugh).

As stated before, this is subtitled “Volume 1”, which I initially thought was simply a clever joke (poking fun at the current trend of milking a popular franchise for all it’s worth, like Twilight and Harry Potter). But indeed, this truly is only the first half of the film, abruptly ending as a “To be continued” card flashes on the screen. “Volume 2” is supposed to be released later this year, which will conclude the story (such as it is).

Still, as blatantly dumb as it is, Return to Nuke ‘Em High isn’t boring, the absolute worst sin a film can commit. Part of its appeal lies in the conceit that a willingness to go too far is reason-enough for its existence. There’s also a dubious sense of desperation prevalent throughout the film (like a Motley Crue comeback tour) that is sort-of fun to watch. We see lots of the same old gags that might have been shocking two decades ago, but today, they are mainly a comfort to those who might have grown up with this stuff.

EXTRAS:
Audio commentary with various cats members
Audio commentary with Lloyd Kaufman and producers Justin Martell, Matt Menjourides, Regina Katz and co-writer Travis Campbell
Featurettes: Casting Conundrum; Pre-production Hell with Mein-Kauf (man); Special (Ed) Effects; Cell-U-Lloyd Kaufman: 40 Years of TROMAtising the World
Music video
Trailer for Volume 2

FKMG RATING:

(OUT OF 5)

Blu-Ray Review: IN FEAR

Starring Iain De Caestecker, Alice Englert, Allen Leech. Directed by Jeremy Lovering. (2013, 85 min).
Anchor Bay Entertainment

A damn shame, this one.

Imagine going to a fancy Italian restaurant. The ambiance is perfect, the service is impeccable, the wine list is second-to-none, but when the main course arrives at your table, it’s nothing but a pepperoni Hot Pocket…and undercooked at that.

That’s what watching In Fear is like. I can’t recall the last time a movie started off so well, establishing a subtly foreboding tone, slowly-but-effectively ratcheting up the tension, only to completely fall apart half-way through.

But, damn, does it start off great. Iain De Caestecker & Alice Englert play Tom and Lucy, a young couple driving to meet their friends at a music festival. Before that though, Tom surprises her with reservations at a secluded hotel. All they have to do is find it. After being guided by a mysterious truck driver, they turn off the main road to find the place. However, the signs contradict each other and they become hopelessly lost in a maze of muddy roads and dead ends, almost always ending up at the same place they started…a grimy old cabin in the middle of nowhere. As it gets darker and they run low on gas, frustration turns to apprehension and fear, especially after Lucy sees a masked figure behind Tom while he’s taking a leak. There’s something following them through this wooded labyrinth, and it’s not friendly.

Up to this point, In Fear is atmospheric, suspenseful and well-acted…a low budget gem which uses its Irish country setting to build increasing dread in the viewer. Like so many other movies which effectively exploit the isolation of lonely roads and lone travelers to create tension (Duel, The Hitcher…even Jeepers Creepers), one understandably expects a bit of cat & mouse terror will ensue.

It's also at this point I recommend you shut off the movie and write your own ending, because even if you threw in brain-sucking lesbian zombies with poo-flinging monkeys on their shoulders, it would be more entertaining and less insulting than what transpires next...

This is what happens when Nickelback
 turns up on the radio.

Once our villain actually shows up, the entire movie collapses faster than a stack of Jenga blocks. The characters are suddenly rendered stupid, logic flies out the window and the story itself is undone by plot holes you can steer a semi-truck through. Though totally unoriginal, I’ve got no problem with the idea of a lone psycho in the backwoods, so long as his methods, motives and actions are at-least plausible. But In Fear doesn’t even try to explain how he’s able to effectively manipulate the scenario. In fact, when he does finally reveal himself as the culprit behind their torment (in the back seat of their car, initially posing as a fellow victim), all he does is grab Lucy’s head in his hands, which turns Tom into a blithering idiot on the verge of pissing himself (couldn’t the writer have at least given his bad guy a fucking weapon?). The actions of all three characters becomes more frustratingly illogical as the movie goes on. Too bad…all that effort to create atmosphere and tension, only to suddenly wallow in stupidity, clichés and ridiculous behavior by characters initially-established as somewhat smart and likable.

I don’t often offer my own two-cents worth when it comes to storytelling, but In Fear could have been a low-budget classic if it kept the tone and ambiguity of its first half, perhaps offering no concrete explanation for Tom & Lucy’s wayward journey. Or hell, offer aliens…or a government experiment…anything other than the insulting conceit conjured up here.

In Fear is a real let-down, far worse than a movie which is crappy from the get-go, because this one started off so promisingly.

Again, a damn shame.

EXTRAS:
In Fear: Behind the Scenes

FKMG RATING:

1/2

(OUT OF 5)

Blu-Ray Review: THE WRATH OF VAJRA

Starring Yu Xing, Sung-jun Yoo, Yamei Zhang, Matt Mullins, Heon Jun Nam. Directed by Wing-cheong Law. (2013, 111 min)
Well Go USA Entertainment

I should probably confess up-front that my knowledge of Asian martial arts cinema is pretty limited…Enter the Dragon, of course, a few of Jackie Chan’s early Hong Kong films, Stephen Chow’s action comedies and House of Flying Daggers (which I loved)…that’s about it. I’ve enjoyed the few films I’ve seen in the genre, but I’m essentially about as clueless of martial arts movies as my dad is of heavy metal music, even though, as a teenager, I once caught him rocking to Judas Priest’s British Steel when we were in the car together (which I’m sure he’ll deny to this day). But just because Dad liked what he heard didn’t mean he was a converted metal fan. If you were to mention Rob Halford’s name right now, he’d reply “Who?” like the unwise owl in that Geico commercial.

Similarly, I don’t know (or care) who Yu Xing & Sung-jun Yoo are. For all I know, they are China’s Bruce Willis & Vin Diesel (Yoo is even built a bit like Diesel), but The Wrath of Vajra is the only thing I’ve ever seen them in. In this one, there’s an evil, Hades-worshipping cult which kidnaps children and trains them to be lethal warriors in hopes of defeating the Chinese during World War II. One of those children (played by Xing) manages to escape and embraces Buddhism’s peaceful ways (though he can still snap your neck if you piss him off). A decade later, the Hades Cult, led by Xing’s former friend/rival (Yoo), is hell-bent on overthrowing China with his trained and psychotic legions. After Xing’s little brother is kidnapped, he returns to the fortress to try and free everyone (kids and POWs). In the interim, there are fight scenes galore, complete with John Woo-style slow motion, gravity-defying stunts and plenty of blood spewing from mouths after every punch.

There is no martial arts skill which can overcome
the power of a well-loaded burrito.

Storywise, The Wrath of Vajra is sorta lame and a bit too serious, serving mostly as an excuse to show guys beating the shit out of each other. But when has actual plot been the driving force behind a martial arts movie? As such, the numerous fight scenes are well-done and expertly choreographed, good enough that you probably won’t give a damn about the story, with its obvious twists and the idiotic ‘Crazy Monkey’ showdown (which we’re led to anticipate as the mother of all fight scenes).

Did I like it? Absolutely. This movie is fun, though ultimately forgettable, much like how my dad felt when toe-tapping and humming along with Priest’s “Living After Midnight.”  He enjoyed the music while it was pumping from our car speakers, but it ain’t like he suddenly became a metal fan. I’m sure he hasn't given Judas Priest a single thought since. Like Dad, I enjoyed The Wrath of Vajra, a lively action fest, but it didn’t suddenly make me a die hard martial arts fan.

However, for those of you already converted, you might consider yourself preached.

EXTRAS:
Making-of Featurettes
English Language Version
Trailer

FKMG RATING:

(OUT OF 5)

DVD Review: SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: SUPER BOWL XLVIII CHAMPIONS

Directed by David Platt, Kevin Bushman, John Marsh. (2014, 115 min).
NFL Films / Cinedigm Home Entertainment

It’s probably pertinent to point out that I’m from the Pacific Northwest, a region with relatively few pro sports franchises compared to the rest of the country. In fact, there are only three that really matter…the Portland Trailblazers, Seattle Mariners and Seattle Seahawks (sure, there are a couple of pro soccer teams, but only because some folks are still hell-bent on trying to convince Americans to care about soccer). For those of us who live in the blustery, sparsely-populated states of Oregon, Washington and Idaho, the Blazers, Mariners and Hawks are the closest things we have to home teams.

So it’s understandable if one suspects a bit of bias in my praise of this disc, which lovingly recaps the Seahawks’ 2013 championship season, climaxing in the shocking 42-8 route of the Denver Broncos in Super Bowl XLVIII. It’s also understandable if anyone living elsewhere doesn’t give a damn about a DVD like this, either because they have their own home teams or resent the overt brashness of the Seahawks (mostly Richard Sherman) during the 2013 season. Then there are the loud, boisterous fans (“The 12th Man“), whose behavior admittedly borders on obnoxious at times (especially when the 49ers visit). Heads and bodies painted green and blue, they fill CenturyLink Field every Sunday with a deafening roar that intimidates all opponents who enter (except the Arizona Cardinals, the only team to leave the Hawks’ Nest with a victory in nearly two years).

Besides, NFL Films produces a disc like this for every championship team. What makes this one so special? My own personal bias notwithstanding, it’s a triumph-of-the-underdog story as dramatic and rousing as any fictional sports film ever made…especially when you take history into account:

• Since becoming a franchise in 1976, the Seahawks have had more losing seasons than winning ones. Until 2013, they’ve always been underdogs.
• Prior to 2013, the Seahawks have only made it to the Super Bowl once, predictably losing to the Pittsburgh Steelers in 2005.
• The Pacific Northwest has always been one of the smaller markets in any professional league. Unless a team is having a stellar year, the amount of media attention has always been pretty small.
• As a young team on the rise, their 2012 playoff-ending loss to the Atlanta Falcons was heartbreaking. They really had something to prove this year.
• Prior to 2013, the last time any professional sports team from the Pacific Northwest won a championship was the Seattle Supersonics in 1979, a drought of 35 years. If you take into account the Sonics have-since relocated to Oklahoma City, the only remaining team with a championship under its belt is the 1976 Portland Trailblazers.
• The weather in the Pacific Northwest is shitty year-round. You may scoff at the Seahawks’ zealous fans, but you can’t deny their dedication when they show up at CenturyLink Field braving sideways rain wearing nothing but body paint.
• No one expected quarterback Russell Wilson, the 75th pick in the 2012 NFL draft, to amount to anything.
• Ditto Richard Sherman, the 154th pick in the 2011 draft, who also managed to escape Compton and graduate from Stanford University. You may think he’s a blowhard, but you gotta admit he overcame unbelievable odds to get where he is right now.
• They played their arch rivals, the San Francisco 49ers three times in 2013. But the Niners aren’t simply rivals because they’re in the same division. Coaches Pete Carroll and Jim Harbaugh have a somewhat-bitter history dating back to when they coached college teams. And even in 2013, the 49ers were generally still considered the team to beat in the NFC.
• Love ‘em or hate ‘em, the Hawks are never as boring as they used to be (in the days of 'Ground Chuck').

"Dude...we SO spanked you."

The disc itself is a well-edited summary of every game during the 2013 season, featuring highlights presented as only NFL Films can…dramatic music, sparse-but-authoritative narration, on-field & sideline soundbites and dozens of outstanding defensive & offensive plays lovingly rendered in slow motion. The capper, of course, is Super Bowl XLVIII, where the Hawks played about as flawlessly as any team in NFL history (as a bonus for Hawks fans, there are a lot of shots of a dumbfounded Peyton Manning). It was one of the more lopsided Super Bowl games in recent memory (the outcome was pretty-much decided by halftime), and unless you live up here in the Northwest, will probably go down in history as one of the worst.

Even if you can’t stand the Seahawks, their fans or the bravado of both, if you love the game itself, this disc recaps a phenomenally impressive season, depicting a team where anything less than the Lombardi trophy would have been considered a failure. It’s the perfect souvenir for a nearly-perfect season.

I’ll bet it doesn’t sell many copies in Denver, though.

EXTRAS:
Super Bowl Media Day
Super Bowl Post-Game Ceremonies
The Richard Sherman Story (which might change how you feel about him)
NFL Game Day Morning: Russell Wilson
The Journey of Pete Carroll (their gum-chomping head coach)
Ken Norton: Back to the Super Bowl
The Derrick Coleman Story

FKMG RATING:

for Broncos or 49ers fans:

DVD Review: TEEN TITANS GO!: SEASON ONE, PART ONE

Starring the voices of Scott Menville, Hynden Walch, Greg Cipes, Tara Strong, Khary Payton. Various directors. (2013, 289 min).
Warner Home Video

Cartoon Network’s second shot at a series based on DC comics’ Teen Titans is cut from a different cloth, but manages to be far more entertaining.

The original show, which ran from 2003 to 2006, was actually kind of a breath of fresh air, differing from traditional DC shows with its anime-inspired style and increased emphasis on humor. As someone who doesn’t read comic books, I don’t know if the show remained faithful to its origins, but it made enjoyable enough television.

While it retains the five main characters (Raven, Robin, Cyborg, Beast Boy & Starfire) and voice actors, Teen Titans Go! is a pretty radical departure. It eschews the original show’s look for an animation style similar to what you see on Disney Channel. It’s also played strictly for laughs, with short episodes focusing on the daily lives of these superheroes (and roommates) when they aren’t busy fighting evil.

This is similar to how my mom drives.

Though the focus is on irreverent and slapstick humor (much of which is very funny), Teen Titans Go! doesn’t totally ignore its origins. The 26 episodes in this two disc set (half of its first season) are loaded with Easter Eggs, in-jokes and DC comic references. And while the characters are exaggerated versions of their former selves, they still have essentially the same personalities (albeit a bit less mature). The forever-sullen Raven is especially amusing in this context.

Despite its new look and tone, one shouldn’t dismiss Teen Titans Go! as just another cartoon product aimed at the kiddie crowd. It’s a clever, well written homage to its comic book origins, yet irreverent and funny enough to amuse anyone who’s never heard of Teen Titans. It’s currently one of Cartoon Network’s best shows, ranking right up there with the flaky genius of Adventure Time and Regular Show.

FKMG RATING:

(OUT OF 5)